Mental well-being isn't just a trend—it's a multifaceted voyage of self-discovery and comprehension. Join us as we bring back author Phillip Kriz and continue to unravel our ongoing mental health journeys, seeking not just answers, but understanding. While concrete advice may be elusive, through candid dialogue, we aim to offer insights that resonate with you. Remember, the destination may be clear, but it's the journey that truly matters. Embrace the process, and cultivate a relentless drive for improvement.
Listen to our first episode with Phillip Kriz
You can learn more about Phillip Kriz and purchase The Roadie Cartel here: https://www.phillipjkriz.com/
Follow Phillip on Instagram
The Loose Connection podcast is Hosted by Chris Leonard & Kyle Chirnside
email us at looseconnectionpod@gmail.com
Follow us on Instagram , Facebook,
Mental well-being isn't just a trend—it's a multifaceted voyage of self-discovery and comprehension. Join us as we bring back author Phillip Kriz and continue to unravel our ongoing mental health journeys, seeking not just answers, but understanding. While concrete advice may be elusive, through candid dialogue, we aim to offer insights that resonate with you. Remember, the destination may be clear, but it's the journey that truly matters. Embrace the process, and cultivate a relentless drive for improvement.
Listen to our first episode with Phillip Kriz
You can learn more about Phillip Kriz and purchase The Roadie Cartel here: https://www.phillipjkriz.com/
Follow Phillip on Instagram
The Loose Connection podcast is Hosted by Chris Leonard & Kyle Chirnside
email us at looseconnectionpod@gmail.com
Follow us on Instagram , Facebook,
What you guys are doing is a form of therapy for both of you all. You guys get to chat to each other in a very real way, and now your medium of chatting or your format of chatting can be whatever you two ever want to chat about, which makes it even more beautiful that, if you are having a bad day, why not just be the realest person ever about it? We're always embarrassed about what someone's going to think about us, but then at the end of the day, when we say it and someone goes oh dude, I'm going through that same embarrassing thing right now. Thanks for being open and honest about it. I really needed that today. It could just be one person.
Speaker 2:Philip, what's it like to throw away 20,000 words of work?
Speaker 1:How does that feel? Actually, it feels really good because those 20,000 words were fun to write but they were going nowhere. So I'm glad I didn't end up at 40,000 words. So unfortunately it was a little sad, but I think it's just like practice, right. I mean, at the end of the day it's like going out and shooting a bunch of free throws and just practice, practice, practice. And I got some good sentence structures in and I got some good word usage in, I would say. But at the end of the day when I went back to read it I went to go give it a one over and I was like I hate this, I hate it all, I can't stand if I have to fill out an i9 twice, I'm like over it that's like six words, you know what I mean and a couple of check boxes, all right I honestly, if this wasn't my passion, it would be very, very sad.
Speaker 1:I probably would have cried, but uh, I, at the end of the day, I I look at it as a freaking learning experience and the words that I so now I'm back at like I think 10 000 words for chapter one, all brand new, a completely new story, and I love it. It makes me happy, so it was worth the so let's, let's back up again.
Speaker 2:Context there, right, because I'm the only one who has context on that. Um, you know, you know, obviously we already had you on. You talked about writing your first book. You're on to working your second. Um, what, what happened there? I know you, you read a book and you had some, some things. You're thinking through what, what, what happened there?
Speaker 1:I probably actually through okay. So I started writing book to somewhere middle of last year. I just would start slowly putting stuff to paper. I still have the last chapter because I want to end on that and I know exactly where. I know exactly where that one lies. But there's probably about 50,000 words that I won't be able to use because I have put together a few other chapters that in my mind I thought would be perfect for where I wanted the book to go. But as I started chapter one and I got probably, I'd say, almost 90% done with it, I just didn't like the character.
Speaker 3:Once upon a time.
Speaker 1:Fuck.
Speaker 3:Dear diary Fuck.
Speaker 1:Dear diary Today, son of a. No, it was more like. And then this mother Delete, delete, delete, delete. And then this fucker Delete, delete delete.
Speaker 3:That sounds this fucker. Delete, delete, delete. That sounds like half my text messages. Like you see the bubble and you know they're texting back and you're like, why did it stop?
Speaker 1:that's me deleting that so I actually had a very cool character in mind and I thought that I was going to be able to tell the story through her eyes while engaging my other two characters. But the further I got with her story, her story didn't seem believable. So that's what really threw me.
Speaker 1:So like all of a sudden, like the idea was really cool, of who I wanted this character to be, to be but building up her character started to become a little too fictional, where I was like if I was reading this I would already be like this isn't fucking real, this isn't possible. And it was just a few scenes. A few scenes, I guess you could say. I wrote in there that I just like. When I reread them I was like meh over it.
Speaker 2:That's gotta be tough because, for the record again, because I know people still are unclear the rudy cartel is a fiction novel. This is not your autobiography, uh so, but there is a, I guess, a depth. You have to set the constraint, so how deep the fiction is or what you know, what I mean I guess there's, you know. So that's, that's interesting. Yeah, you still have a little bit of a box to work in.
Speaker 1:It's not just whatever wants to fly yeah, and I had a a reviewer leave a quote about something basically to the extent to the like wording where, um, this is believable. So that was big like. When I had that as a review I was like, okay, well, I don't want to have my next book be unbelievable, right, or like too far off. And although it is still like takes place with cartel stuff, it's more of a little bit more of a twist and turn thriller kind of this time it's not so much cartel stuff like built into having to explain about the cartel and all these things, because that's already been explained.
Speaker 2:So now I have to really work for that yeah.
Speaker 1:So now I get to actually like be full-on like storyteller, don't have to like try to create a fictional cartel, so. So that's why, when I got to this one the end of chapter one, and it just wasn't flowing, I was like, well, I'd rather throw this away now than end up writing because I want this one to be 713 pages sick.
Speaker 3:That's a good. Yeah, someone, someone's burning palo santo over a crystal right now because you said that. Um question, going back to what you originally said, you wrote the final chapter and then you're going back. Do you storyboard, like, the rest of the things that you want to do, or does that give you like a developmental idea on how the path is going to travel?
Speaker 1:outline storyboard, however I have like rough outlines. That's been easier for me. The the storyboarding I I tried for a hot minute I tried like really outlining deep, deep. But it's just not the way my imagination works. It just like my train of thought and the way I flow when I write. It's not going and looking at like a piece of paper, it's just I sit down with the idea and I just kind of go and I have a pretty good memory to where I can. There's times where I have to go back and just look at details like fine, fine details, but for the most part I can remember the whole story through details. But for the most part I can remember the whole story through. So it's really more names, dates, um, places where I really struggle just to remember like oh, where were they here or where did I leave off at what year stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Keeping it congruent is right yeah, that was like the.
Speaker 1:That was the hardest part of like the original was just trying to make sure that again, trying to keep it in like time frames too, because roadies like live in time frames, you know, like they I can't be like, oh, they went from phoenix to el paso in two hours, like that's just right. I really all that stuff was written down so I wouldn't forget while I was writing. But then there was like the actual story itself. I can, I was pretty good about remembering key, key events.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, the, the end is just like where I want to go and I just keep that in mind the entire time do you ever scribble off and and like I'm not gonna write about this roadie cartel, I'm gonna write about like uh, conan the barbarian. And like do you, do you have other thoughts as well, that you scribble somewhere else?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah. So I have like these six uh mini stories that I wrote about my cats, um, that are superheroes, just like when I was like I like this already, yeah, yeah, what they're like, uh, one of the stories is they're looking for my wife grew an avocado tree at one time and a raccoon took one of the avocados that we like we should add two that had had roots, and they were like we were like, oh shit, we're gonna have a avocado tree. I mean, it'd take a long time to actually have an avocado. But you know, we were starting the process and we woke up one day and, like on our video a little raccoon had taken it, or or you know she had seen it on, or we had seen the raccoon. So we kind of guessed it was a raccoon and so I wrote this whole story about my three cats going to beat up this raccoon for our avocado scene.
Speaker 3:I love. I love the short story thing because if you look in popular culture right now, that is a lot of the books, a lot of the um stuff that's coming out on netflix or any of the streaming services is doing like the one line movies or the, the, the one author who brings in different artists or directors to do short stories for them.
Speaker 3:And I think I think it's a way to keep people super interested as well. I I like going to Barnes and Noble. I just don't like reading the book sometimes. But it seems like a theme and a lot of like thrillers and crime novels are starting to do like a little short stories and stuff and I think it's really really cool. I think it's a really interesting take on things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, and I I had that same idea like so with book two, as because everybody wants that, um, what is it not viral? But um, like, when you watch, you binge watch something, right, like that's what a lot of people want to do is they want something that comes out in a short period of time. They can just sit down and just crush it all. And so, uh, I read crime and punishment not too long ago and I really love that it was broken into three parts. There was like, or maybe it's five part, I don't know, but it was broken into parts and I just loved that idea. I was like whoa, this is such a cool take on, um, what I want to do.
Speaker 1:How do I make it like, because that book is just one giant book, like it's not. You don't buy three or four or five separate sections, you just get one book. So this my next book, actually, and I don't mind talking about it this way because it doesn't really give anything away but it's going to be broken into three separate parts that we're going to release it three individual times in in the year. So interesting for that bingeable idea, right, because, like Stranger Things, they give you season five a and you get like four season or four episodes and then you're like man, I want the rest of it. So this would keep the the story shorter. Although I want it to be 700 pages in total, it would break down to about like 300 and you know 20, you know 30 pages each or whatever, maybe even a little bit more. So shorter story bingeable, but it's not as short as like my other ones that I wrote no.
Speaker 2:So I think, uh, let's, let's get to maybe the heart of the reason why we wanted to maybe get back together. Um, and you know, um, obviously we had you and we talked about your book and um, but the kyle and I took a break, been going through some things both individually and or together. We had the episode last week kind of talking about just as realizing where our mental health state was and just kind of processing out loud. And you know, the three of us have a group chat and Kyle had said something that was very intriguing to me at least. He said something I wish people would talk about how to treat it more and not just describe the causes and effects, just that like talking about mental health or things as a whole. Um, and I thought that was a pretty interesting launching point to kind of like, yeah, I think that's, that's that's what we're doing, at least either verbally on the last episode or in our group, you know, group chat or whatever and kind of moving it forward. And one of the comments that we had gotten actually in the last episode, the phrase has really been sticking with me.
Speaker 2:People use the term mental health a lot, talking about things. That's a very grand term or maybe even overused term, and she said she looks at it as emotional hygiene, like the same way that we have to think about brushing our teeth, brushing our hair or shaving or you know, like, like those things, like these are, like you know, bringing it down to granular, little daily levels, I think is another way to talk about of you know, tangible things. So, um, I thought that was pretty interesting. Um, you know, kyle, have you? What have you thought since, maybe like the last episode and you know whether it's books or or screenshots or like different things we've been sharing and kind of talking about processing, what have you kind of processed of that idea of things it bigger than more than just a grand idea of oh yeah, we got to think about our mental health hey, I, let's start with the mental hygiene thing.
Speaker 3:Like I think it all starts in the way you take care of yourself. I mean, even from the stuff you, you guys, were sending me and the things that I was reading, I was just like, well, what's the solution? What? What do well? What's the solution? What do I do? What's the solution? And every therapist kind of does it their own way because they're like, bro, you just cross your legs and do the finger thing and think of unicorns.
Speaker 3:No, that's why I think a lot of people change therapists or try to find something different, you know, because you have to kind of find a thing or a person or a place that's going to put you in a better state. Like, some things don't resonate with other people. You guys were talking about COVID earlier in 2020. Well, I did this thing. It was like an eye movement thing, and when, when it's explained to you, when you listen to this situation, you have to do, you have to watch these things bouncing across the page and you move just your eyes, not your head, and then, when they stop, you have to make like an affirmation I'm going to think about this differently, then it'll start again and then and I thought it was all some fucking miss cleo, hocus, hocus, pocus shit I really did like. But what it's supposed to do is create new neural paths around whatever.
Speaker 3:The problem is that you're working on because of the eye movement and the affirmations for some some neuropathic reason that I don't even know, and I wish more people would talk about that. Like, everyone goes to Tik TOK Instagram, anything with a fucking reel that's 60 seconds long. Everyone will tell you about the problem, but they don't tell you how to to fix a problem. You know, do I need meds? Do I need meds? Do I need to go to a ayahuasca retreat and fucking trip my balls off like?
Speaker 2:tell me what I do that first. I do want to do that sometime at some point. By the way, I am totally down to do a dmt trip at some point, but anyway, that's a whole yeah.
Speaker 3:so, going back to your original question, what have you been doing? So one I quit working out for four weeks. I lost almost 15 pounds because I wasn't eating right, I wasn't taking care of myself. I was sitting in my head all day doing what ifs and wondering if I did something wrong or how I'm going to fix this. How is this going to work? And finally, I was like I'm going to go back to the gym. And there was days that I went into the gym, I laid my shit down, I went, lifted up some weights and I sat on the bench and I just sat there and I was like I'm done, I'm going home. But it took me four trips to the gym. And then all the people that I know there, I go to a community center man, I don't try to go to LA fitness or lifetime or whatever. I'm not trying to wear my spandex and like sit up the ring cam or whatever. Like everyone started coming up to me and talking to me and I came in. We haven't seen you in a while. Hey man, what are you doing today? Oh, shoulders, whatever. And I started getting back in the groove and I tell you what I feel.
Speaker 3:I'm on week number two since then, and I'm back in the groove. I can't lift as much as I used to, which who cares? I'm 51. It doesn't matter. Time under tension, as a lot of people say after a certain age, but I'm back on the soccer field running with the girls two times a week. I quit playing soccer for four weeks. I'm back with the men's team playing and I feel better. I feel better about myself. It's this weird confidence thing. I still have bouts and I still haven't started therapy. Once again. Shout out to roadie clinic backline cares and it's called sweet relief. I couldn't figure out the name last week when we were talking about it, but thank you to all those.
Speaker 2:for people on our industry have you been able to get a session? Have you done a session yet?
Speaker 3:no, it's just like it's just like trying to. It's just like trying to find a fucking doctor when you need a doctor. Like it's like oh, we have an appointment in september on a thursday at six o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1:But I think what you just said, though, is like the most important part, though, is your. You found community again. That's what I think that everybody is truly missing when they say like, oh, I, I'm going through a mental health thing and da da, da, da, da, well, how did you fix it? Ultimately, I think, it boils down to you find someone that you can be honest with again, and that honesty doesn't necessarily have to start with you spilling every single thing that's going on with you. I think the honesty starts where you just show up and someone goes oh cool, you're back, or you're here, or you showed up. I think that is the first step to problem.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter if you're trying to fix your health or whether you're trying to fix your relationship. Showing up and at least being a part of whatever it is that you're fixing is, like the hands down biggest thing that I think everybody forgets, because if you don't show up, then it's pointless. If you just say you're going to do it all day long, whatever, then cool, there's a lot of things I want to do, but if I don't freaking show up to the party, then it's null and void, and so I think what you did right there is the best thing for you. You went back to what's hard and I think working out or being active or going out in the sun and then being around people brings back some of that ability to rejuvenate. You're like a like, a thing of, like a tree or a plant or a flower. I mean you got to have water, sunshine.
Speaker 3:You listen to something other than yourself, destroying yourself at that point, and I just want to point out and this is my question for both of you guys I don't talk to a lot of people about it because I'm a teacher, I'm a coach, I'm a male and there's all kinds of podcasts out there where men are starting to be like hey, we have this thing too, we have value too. We have mental health problems, we have emotions, we have empathy. We have a health problems, we have emotions, we have empathy. We have a hard time dealing with this stuff, but there's still stigma. Let's just put it this way Half the things I was listening to or looking up were focused to females.
Speaker 3:Females that went through something traumatic and I kind of had to narrate it to fit my thing and I tell you what that's a little bit fucking demeaning it really is. And I'm not a tough guy by any means. There is nothing tough about me anymore and that's kind of hard to face at some point. And that's why, when you guys were texting back and forth, it was like I wish they would talk about the treatment and not the cause and the effects, because, trust me, I'm just verifying all the causes and effects Every time I listen to things. I'm like, yeah, brother preach to the choir. That's what happened.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Well, I went to a 10-week course recently, and I realized that one of the biggest things that I was always terrified of doing was being completely truthful, but part of that truthful was to me, though wasn't to anybody else, yeah, it was to me. It was like I was. I had to not only be humbled, but I actually had to be a little humiliated, and not like humiliated like, oh, let's make fun of Phil or let's do this, but it was like let me take some of the things that I've always been so terrified of talking about and, just for one, open up to myself about them, write them Like. That was one thing that my therapist and I did is she was like today, I want you to make a mask of yourself, and I was like a mask. She was like, yeah, make a mask of yourself and write down all the things that you think you like about yourself, and then all the things that you think you don't like about yourself, and just yourself. And then all the things you think you don't like about yourself, and just be honest. And I like I was like holy shit, I could not believe some of the stuff I wrote on the mass, but what it did was it automatically made me go? Hmm, there's one of the issues that I have with myself that it it doesn't matter if anybody else knows about it, but if I don't open up to myself about what I truly believe about myself, well then, how the hell am I ever going to fix that about myself? And so I think there is that stigma about the being a tough guy and all that stuff.
Speaker 1:But I think that that's just a. I think that's a facade, I mean. I mean, how many times have you been with your best friend and you've had a few, too many beers? And it's like three in the morning. You start talking about some real stuff and you cry. But nowadays that it's tiktok and all these things are here. It's.
Speaker 1:You don't see it that often because we're still in the age where we would rather see cars and all that stuff on there, boobs, but yeah, but just being honest, you said boom, but I think that that but it. But it's true, though I mean, but even then I mean me and my best friend. We have real conversations and then two minutes later we can joke around, but then we can go back to the real conversation. But it's community, I think, talking about it. I think it's about finding a person that you feel and I don't even think I honestly like. If therapy is the way you want to try it, give it a shot. But sometimes it's, I think, the person that you just trust the most to be as completely vulnerable and open to, and they might not even say anything to you. I think they just might just listen, because sometimes you're going to say all that you need to say this year are self-help books, but you know, at least half of them either have that or they.
Speaker 2:I'm able to find things through that and the number one thing that keeps coming back to it, that sums it up, is literally that gary v quote that you'll find what you're looking for, right, this, this mind thing, you know, um you, we can't escape how much our mind, our thoughts control what we are. Right, you know, and it's um, you know. You know, phil, you sent us the uh, think and grow rich book and I'm at the point where he's talking about the subconscious mind and how it feeds your conscious mind and stuff, and it's like in, I, it's, I, uh, I actually thought back to Kyle. You and I had talked a few episodes back before. We had maybe actually talked about this and I'm like man, sometimes this overtly positivity bullshit just gets on my nerves and it's like I really wrestle with it, like there is something about feeding that, the exercise of feeding these like positive thoughts. You know, feeding that, the exercise of feeding these like positive thoughts.
Speaker 2:You know, um, and the biggest realization that came to over the last week post us have that conversation reading some more um, I texted you guys and actually it was.
Speaker 2:It was literally verbatim out of a book I read um, I wanted the reward of working on mental health, or the reward of whatever in life, um, but I didn't want the struggle, um, I, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't want the process, um, and life doesn't work that way, and so that's what I'm learning about right now. Is that, um, one of the books I'd read? It was just something that was like what, uh, what are you willing to sacrifice, right Like? What are you willing to sacrifice right, like? And you have to enjoy sacrificing that to get to that. So that's, that's the grain that I'm trying to get to. It's like trying to really wrestle with how much I need to control my thoughts, and and it can't just be thoughts of overtly positivity that you don't believe in you have to find a path to believe in it, but I don't know. The mind thing is really what I'm trying to hone in on.
Speaker 1:Here's a crazy thing, right? Where is the thought in the thought that you're having? Right? Because just because you are 40, 50, whatever age you are, you have to think about where that thought lies in who you are. And so part of that therapy had to do is I had to had to go back to the kid, the adolescent, the fucked up adult, and then the, the actual who is. If I was to have the person that oversaw them all, the rational human, at the very top. Who's talking? Is it my kid talking? Because if it's my kid talking, what am I missing? Am I acting out for a reason?
Speaker 3:Is it my adolescent KRS-One talked about this. He made everybody in the room say their name to themselves and they're like who is that talking? Yeah, maybe I'll try to find a link to go into the description, but you're exactly right. There's a subconscious person that you talk to all the time and it might be your voice. It might be some other voice, but that's the one that you talk to all the time and it might be your voice. It might be some other voice, but that's the one that you need to talk to, and I love if they're talking at the same time too. Yeah, you're not crazy, but because because I've seen this done in like the keros one thing blew me away. I was like dude, holy shit.
Speaker 1:The lady charlene, that I went through these 10 like that was one thing that we used to do every day is for like one of my sessions or one of my weekly homework. Things was for a whole week. I journaled like a short, just like a little journal, like who, how I was feeling. And then it was like who, who is feeling this, how am I talking to myself? And then how am I feeling about like all of what's inside of there? Because some of those feelings aren't even happening right now.
Speaker 1:But I'm having emotions that happened like way back in my day that I never talked about and all of a sudden it would like come to light and I'd be like, oh shit, that's, that's my critical adult just being an asshole to my child because my child wants to go and hang out right now and write a book. But my critical adult just being an asshole to my child because my child wants to go and hang out right now and write a book. But my critical adult's like, no, you got to go do this because that's what you should be doing at 40. And it's like oh man, like I'm having, I'm having some deep, deep, some deep, uh, conversations inside my own head, like with three different people, and it was really rad, though, because then, once it was all broken down, it was like well then, have the adult, the one rational adult at the very top, go hold on, hold on. This is what needs to happen right now.
Speaker 3:I, I love none of it I love that you reference the adolescent, because, um, a lot of the problems that you face today as, like you said, 40 to a 50 year old person, whatever the case may be all stems from something that happened in your adolescence that you might have a fear of or that you never dealt with.
Speaker 1:My biggest one is I had such a short childhood. My child is the one that wants to talk the most because I never got to be a child. For child is the one that wants to talk the most because I never got to be a child. For I mean, I like went into my adolescence at such a young age that I like kind of repressed that child in me because I was like, oh no, this is who I want to be, this is what you know I was. I literally lived out that stupid thing where you're like I want to be an adult and everyone's like, nah, you should just pump the brakes. And I was like, nah, fuck this, this cooler, I'm going to be an adult at like seven or eight and I'm be smoking cigarettes back behind the school and shit. And that child never got a chance to speak a lot of the times because of, like, family, what was happening in my home and all that stuff.
Speaker 1:And so it is true, it's like I think the mental health thing is so many different layers too, because when you start peeling the onion back, it's like well, who's actually having the mental breakdown right now? Is it like Philip? That is the 40-year-old writer who actually kind of has it together, who can like have a rational conversation and hold like uses big words nowadays. No, fuck, no, it's not. It's the little kid that is like screaming for attention most of the time, but then my adolescence is like shut the hell up, dude. No one wants to hear your stupid voice right now. You know so.
Speaker 1:But going through that course, though I didn't like I talked to her. Still I'm like she's a really rad person and we can talk through text message and if I ever feel like I need to go back, I would definitely go back, but it's something that she kind of helped me, at least when I'm having a bad day and rowing or running or working out doesn't work and I'm like oh, maybe I just need to go like figure out who's wanting to be out right now, cause that's usually what stems a lot of my drama.
Speaker 3:Do you want to hear mine? Yeah, stems a lot of my drama. Do you want to hear mine? Yeah, do you want to hear mine? So, over 2020, I told you I went in that eye movement thing and, uh, of course they go way back. They're like, oh, what happened? I was like, uh, nothing much. You know, I found out I was adopted. She goes wait, think about this. You spent nine months in this person's belly. They probably talked to you and sung to you and fed you and that was the safest place you'd ever been. And you came out and she was gone and she goes. You got abandonment problems.
Speaker 3:So, right off the bat, before you left the wound, and you talk about this third person or this person in your head that talks to you. I don't hear that person anymore because I think, through finding my mother and finally asking the questions and putting the pieces of the puzzle together and telling my adoptive parent and bringing it all together, telling my daughter like I don't have that, I don't have that anymore, it's gone. So, through that treatment, I never thought about that. I never thought, oh, I'm a shitty punk rock kid and I have a bad attitude because my mom wasn't there when I was born, it was some other people, wasn't the same smell, it wasn't the same Like. I was lost and didn't even know it. So but I sent you guys that, keras.
Speaker 3:One thing I want you to listen. I want you guys to listen to that Because basically he talks about how do you know that there's life after death? Because you can't explain your subconscious talking to you. You just said this thing in your head and you know exactly what it is. He goes, that doesn't go away. This thing might go away, but that subconscious won't go away and that's the energy that carries on.
Speaker 2:That's literally the chapter I'm in right now on the Thick and Grow Rich. Is that subconscious-conscious and the connector between and how it feeds?
Speaker 3:one't know. Here's the deal. I love caris one like boogie down productions. When I was a kid I was like that dude's holding an uzi.
Speaker 3:Right now let's go like I was like but I don't know how I came about it I was probably watching bdp videos or something but this thing came up, karis one talking about, uh, the fifth dimension in the subconscious, and I was like, holy shit, I gotta send this to everybody. But it's one of those things like I coveted, I wanted it for myself, but it's on youtube and it's got millions of views and I'm like it's mine, that is mine, my pretty precious yeah, I definitely have not wrestled with anything childhood related that has potentially affected who I am now.
Speaker 2:I've never done a professional therapy. It's something at some point I know I need to do. I'm doing the therapy that I can do right now. That's what I'm calling books right now into therapy that I can do right now. That's that's what I'm calling books right now.
Speaker 2:Um and uh. But you know, right, you know I did have a traumatic experience, um, as a kid, um, that my mom has said to me multiple times that, uh, she believes that it has affected me, um, as as an adult, and that at some point it needs to be reconciled. And I've continued to tell her that, no, no, that doesn't, it doesn't play a factor like I'm. It's yes, it was a thing, but no, it hasn't. Um, it doesn't play it. I don't know, I, I've, I've, I have refused to accept that it was it. It's something that still affects me now. Now, um, it has. It has spurred things up, um, through various times in the past decade where I'm wrestling with that and I don't know how to reconcile it. Um and um, yeah, so that's an interesting thought to figure out how that, how a childhood, affects now, when it's like I'm a fucking grown-ass man. You know what I mean, like how, how does you know that? You know how? How would that affect me now if I? I don't know that's?
Speaker 1:well, I guess, I guess the the biggest like it's not that it like directly maybe affects you every day, but it's something that, like your, your memory, I mean you have to think like there's stuff that's like just in us, that are like our fourth. You know, like people way, way before us have instilled like that's how, like babies know how to eat when they come out, like there's things that are in us so that to think that you're just gonna magically get rid of something is one thing, but I think, at the same time, you know like there's this there is a big movement to go to therapy or get on drugs, and I say get on drugs, like to get happy pills and all those things, and that's fine, like I'm not gonna tell someone how to go about getting healthy. But I think one of the first things that any person should do is just acknowledge it that if there is like stuff that like you're like keep, and here's the, here's the telltale sign is there something that keeps coming up in your life that you're like wow, is it me or is it everybody around me? But it seems to be me.
Speaker 1:I think that's what really set me off was that everything I was doing was destructive. And it was like hmm, I don't think this is everybody else, I think this is me and I have some anger or some issues towards something that I need to get out. And I probably knew what it was, but I didn't want to be honest. And that's the minute I started talking about it it was like, oh yeah, ok, here it is. So I think the I think the idea of just going about finding what it is you even want to fix right, because I mean, there's probably 10 things in me that I'm like huh, like, of course I could get better at that, but is that really affecting my day to day?
Speaker 1:No, but like, one of the things was that was like very, I could get my anger all of a sudden go from like one to 100 real quick. And I was like, why all of a sudden go from like one to a hundred real quick? And I was like why, where does that freaking come from? And I started just digging and digging and peeling that, those layers back and, sure enough, there, there it laid. It was all like childhood stuff like, and it was like deep. It was like me and my mom issues that you know there was like and I grew up with her more than I did my dad, so of course it was going to be her. But I don't think that therapy is the first thing. I think it's kind of figuring out like what it is that even lays inside of you.
Speaker 2:No, and I think the the therapy word is a very big, blanket statement. That's what I've learned and and that's where, if we circle it back to at least where my journey of like, really trying to figure out the mind and thought, the reason I think I was grasping for or said I needed therapy for so long and thinking that I needed to be talking to somebody, is because, again, we, as on our own, we're our own demise and if we're not educated or given an outlet via a person, a book or whatever instruction to process thought, you're going to be your own demise. And that's what books have done for me year to date is they have given me, they've exercised my mind in a way I've never been exercised before, so I've been able to get up and be able to get out of a space that I was in, a. I was in a loop was it a feedback loop of dude?
Speaker 1:of myself. Um, that's a real thing too, it's not just a audio thing. Like you can get yourself into a deep, deep loop where you, just you. You start to believe things for completely other reasons when you know, just to create, just to get you away from the situation. But they keep looping you right back to where you were and you just keep coming back to that same scenario. You keep coming right back to that same action. You keep coming right back to that same day to day and then it becomes a day to day thing, right, like you're like, oh shit, like I am not getting away from this problem, and I mean that's books.
Speaker 1:Writing to me has been that for me, like writing my emotions on papers, like as deep as they are, like some of the things that I wrote in the roadie cartel. They're like real emotions, deep as they are, like some of the things that I wrote in the roadie cartel. They're like real emotions. But I just put it into a character because it was like, well, this is a great medium for me just to get an emotion out. And there it was. It was like oh, that felt really rad. So reading, yeah, of course. Like when I read something that's super deep, like oh my gosh, and blows my mind.
Speaker 3:I did it last week, straight up on Facebook. I just did it, yeah. Yeah, it felt kind of cool Because I got to write a little story around a quote that I heard from a bishop speaking about. You know, the boat doesn't sink because of what's on the outside, it's what when it gets on the inside. Yeah, and it made me put a lot of things in perspective too and, like you said, community, the outreach for me, putting that on there was was glorious for me, because I finally felt like I could explain what I was going through without telling everybody what I was going through, because, um, I think a lot of people use social media as an outlet for attention and I didn't want to bring that kind of attention to what truly was the problem. Like you said, you wrote, you wrote your story into the character and it like pervade what you had to say through another means net, you know and and that's kind of what I did I was like screw it.
Speaker 3:Chris journaled for a bunch while he was in Florida. I'm going to journal, right the fuck here, and I'm going to do it, why not?
Speaker 1:And it's freeing it was. And what you guys are doing, though and you have to think about it this way, too what you guys are doing is a form of therapy for both of you. All you guys get to chat to each other in a very real way, and now your, your medium of chatting, or your form, your format of chatting, can be whatever you two ever want to chat about, which makes it even more beautiful that, if you are having a bad day, why not just be the realest person ever about it, because you're not the only person having a bad day and you're not the only person that's going through something that is hard, especially in the music industry. Let's just use it as like a giant, like the music industry, because you guys have had people on there on tv shows to people who tour, right, you know, 350 days a year, and what that is is that's a lot of people by themselves doing a lot of things by themselves, usually in their minds, freaking out about what's next, or who's next, or how to do this, or what's happening at home, and what you all have the ability to do right now is, sure, have the fun conversations about all the fun stuff as well, but you guys are going through stuff, like that's perfect. This is a great place for you guys to address things that you've always wanted to address too, because as long as you're open to being, look, part of it is that humility thing right. Like part of that is just being open and honest, because we're always embarrassed about what someone's going to think about us, but then at the end of the day, when we say it and someone goes oh dude, I'm going through that same embarrassing thing right now. Thanks for being open and honest about it. I really needed that. Today it could just be one person.
Speaker 1:Think about what chris and I are going through. I never thought that like my book would make a person read another book. Now chris is reading like he's on his way to like 30 books this year and even if next year you read no books, just think about what you learned in that short time reading the books you've read already and now the friendship that you us three have. Like you said, we have a group chat where we share stuff. We get to share not just cool funny emojis and memes and all that stuff. We get to be a little vulnerable and be a little honest, and if one of us is having a bad day. What a cool place to be vulnerable about. Yeah, I mean, that's gonna be my opinion on on it. So I think this right here is a great form of therapy.
Speaker 3:It is chris and I talk about it all the time like if we're not doing this, we feel lost. We really do. And I revert back to COVID as well. When we did it we had a lot of people on that were home and it brought out the emotives of the creatives that we were involved with, and I don't think a lot of those people have voices, and even when we started loose connection, it's like um, I think we gave voices to people that were kind of looked past at some point.
Speaker 3:Absolutely it. It's not the top of the line, it's not joe rogan or like. We're not getting those kind of guests, we're just normal folk and a lot of us look at us as the dude or the chicken black that ran across the stage to get the tennis ball, to put the thing back together. You know like so we're all artists and and that's what I'm learning from being a teacher is like how do you teach creatives? You teach creatives through provoking emotion, through their passion, and some of that stuff just can't be written down.
Speaker 3:There's not a syllabus to follow when it comes to therapy or how to speak to somebody. You only learn that from doing it. Like you said, being a part of the community, being a part of finding the connection, being able to answer the right questions being able to of the community being a part of like finding the connection, finding like being able to answer the right questions, being able to ask the right questions. To bring that out of people. And Chris and I have kind of latched onto that process and, like you said, it's fun. 90% of the time we don't like we don't talk to, downers our conversation move, but but it's the the emotions that we provoke when we do ask the questions that someone necessarily hasn't asked that person, you know, yeah well, and the other part, too, is too, is you don't have to be a joe rogan.
Speaker 1:That's the most amazing part. Your, your audiences could vary from dramatically, but all that matters is that you just are sharing things like. That's the coolest part to me, that what you guys have, and that's why I, like I'm a very dramatically, but all that matters is that you just are sharing things. That's the coolest part to me what you guys have, and that's why I'm a fan of it and that's why I'll be on one ever, because I do think it's about for one.
Speaker 1:I could tell someone how to write a book because I've done it, but it doesn't mean that the way I write it is going to be the way that someone else writes it, and I could tell someone how I got to my headspace. That doesn't mean that it's the healthiest way, but it was my way. And waking up at 4am isn't the way for everybody, because other people have other things that go on. Other people have, like night jobs and way more random things, and so when I tell my story, you know what it is is exactly what you just said. It's just a. It's an arbitrary blueprint for me, but at least I'm sharing it, so someone else goes.
Speaker 1:I never thought about trying that. I'm gonna try a tenth of what he's doing, because that, whatever, that might be what I needed, you know. And so I think the biggest point is that, like the, the biggest thing about any of the therapy or head spaces or mind spaces is when you can look back in 10 days and say I feel better. And then you can look back in 100 days and you can say, man, I feel better. As long as you keep saying like I feel better, then you're doing something correct. It doesn't matter how much better, but as long as that better is making you wake up every day, maybe, maybe it's just making you go and appreciate something a little bit more, I think then that's the, that's the therapy there, it is right there, like that's what's winning, that's winning yeah, for me it was it.
Speaker 2:For me it was um. Back to this team I said earlier was like I was always looking for the reward about the, not the struggle, or we had talked um. We talked about the last episode, about goals. You know, yeah, and and I'm really have been reconciling the idea of no matter what the goal is, whether it's a broad goal or a very specific, um, tangible goal.
Speaker 1:I like broads um bras like I wear.
Speaker 2:Oh, brads yeah um, uh, finding the um, finding either joy or satisfaction or whatever in this the process, like in enjoying the process. You know, like, just you know, um, reconciling that, no matter how many books I've read, how many conversations we've had, it's not gonna be a light switch, it's it's a long play thing and so, so long as that you are working on the journey as opposed to just giving up the journey, um, that that's where I've been reconciling the most of just it's. You know, even in the past, you know, week of we've, we released this thing we're talking about cool, cool, cool, and you feel high for a minute and then it's like, all of a sudden you have one bad day. You're like what the fuck you know? And it's like it's okay, you know, but I, like I was able to, you know, uh, whether it's work life, whether it's home life, things like things happen and it's like it's um, I'm learning to just go in the moment, like, hey, whatever you're feeling right now is very real, feel it, recognize it and study it.
Speaker 2:I think before, in the past couple of years, if I were to go through a struggle, anxiety, pain, frustration, depression, whatever I would so focus on that as opposed to just recognizing it, being actually just analyzing it, it would spirally lead you to something further. It I'd be, I, it would, it would spire me to do something further. And now the progress that we don't want to make is go like, hey, accept what is right now, figure out what I can learn from it right now, and and and use the books. I'm reading the conversations I'm having and I'm like, all right, it's all right tomorrow's. You know that, that's I'm. I'm recognizing how to learn to work on the journey, as opposed to be like, oh, didn't make the goal, didn't? You're not gonna make the goal one day so well?
Speaker 1:and if, what would you do if you did make the goal?
Speaker 2:well, as we've. If you've listened, I don't I hate the goal idea anyway.
Speaker 1:Right, so it's like yeah well, but the someone brought that up one time. They're like well, okay, so like you get to the top over, then what right, really. Just you go to another thing you like, so there is no end, right, like?
Speaker 2:I think, like that was like something that was very real, just like learning. Just like learning like there's never. You never stop learning, right like there's if there's no.
Speaker 1:Like I've reached mental health yeah, like, oh, I win mental health, I'm great. No, there is like I don't think that there's like. No, yeah, here's your award, son. Like sweet gold medal time right.
Speaker 1:Here's a great example and and it is every day, I struggle with it because the book is a great example of never ending it. If I was to finish the book and be done with it, then that means that there's no more. Then, like the game's over, but like the writing, it was just 50%, but if I now get to 100% of the book, then that means that no one's buying it anymore. Then like everything's done. Then I could just fold it up, put it into a box and it's done right, as opposed to thinking about it like what if I just live at like a hot 70 and just like I'm able to flow with this book and it's just fun and I get to just go through the motion of having a book and I get to go talk about it to people and I get to show new people it, because there it is, like it's a never-ending thing?
Speaker 1:As an author, you'd never want to see your baby be done. You want to see it go forever. Well, that's like that mental thing that you just said Like you're never going to win it, you're never going to. I'm never going to be okay with my childhood, but I can live with how it went down now and I can at least be like I can get through today, like I can get through today I know how to I know how to better myself in this situation, so I don't think that there's ever an end, so the journey is absolutely the process, like I think that that's a great way.
Speaker 3:I love that my goalposts move. You know, I love that I can move my goalposts, but I hate when someone moves mine oh okay, I'm sorry, I'll put it back in my bed no, no, no, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like just, yeah, in certain situations it's like you know if, if you have to make something better for yourself, for someone else, and then yeah, you think you, you you're like yeah, did that thing. And then all of a sudden the goal post move again. It's like wait, that other goal wasn't good enough, like that didn't fix, that, didn't help this thing.
Speaker 1:Um well, if someone, someone put this into perspective one time. They're like should a friendship be 50, like 50, 50? No, it should be-100. We should each put in 100, because I should give just as much of a friendship back. I should give it all and you should give it all, but it shouldn't 50-50.
Speaker 3:I wrote a good quote about this one. I wrote a good quote. I'm going to have to pull it up just to make sure I said it right.
Speaker 1:But then that won't make anybody's goalpost move, right? Yeah, exactly, if I'm giving 100% and the other person is giving 100, then our goalposts can be wherever we want them to be.
Speaker 3:It just means that you're coming to play on my field and I'm coming to play on your field. Equally correct maximum I put.
Speaker 3:What you expect should be what you offer yeah yeah, you know, if you're going to put expectations on goals and deliverable whether it's at work or home or socially or whatever the case may be if you're going to put I'm not going to do this certain thing, I don't want people to do this certain thing around me, that should be what you offer as well. You know what I mean. Absolutely, you can't really set expectations for someone else's behavior if you're not going to offer the same thing yeah, the two-way street thing yeah, two-way street thing like, um, I don't know.
Speaker 3:You see it all the time where it's like bosses will do this constantly. They don't know how to do your job, they've never done your job before, but they're going to tell you what to do. And I hate that feeling because I like to know every aspect of the thing. You know what I mean. If I don't know how to do video, I'm not going to tell the video guy how to cut video, like I'm not going to do it, um. If I don't know how to use a c-wrench, I'm not going to do lighting, um.
Speaker 3:But if you work at a venue you've came into a venue like now you kind of know both sides of the thing, how it feels to be the house person, how it appeals to be the, the touring person walking in the door, you know. So now you know how to act, you know what to expect. Like you, I see a lot of touring people walk into bar gigs or theater gigs and they're like what a dump, but they've never worked at a bar or a theater. It's like it's the same thing with relationships. Put that in relationships, it's like you're dating someone and the last person they date was a shit bag. So now all of a sudden they have a bunch of expectations they're putting on you because that dude before was a shitbag. You know what I mean. It's like not even fair.
Speaker 1:You got to have the same offering as your I saw it all the time when I toured. I mean, I know that when you guys chat with me a lot, we don't get on the touring aspect, but I know that a lot of people that listen to your show tour, people that listen to your show tour and I think that that's like one of the things that irked me the most about when I was out there on the road was I always felt like, well, if you want me to give this, then shouldn't you be giving that back as my boss or my like? Because right at the boss shifts every so many tours or, you know, not everybody's some people are a third party into a boss. Then you know, and I used to always have that issue like, wait, well, hold on. If you're asking me to show up, well, shouldn't they show up? And then, when I bring something up, well then why am I being looked at in a bad light? If, if, if you're asking x out of me, well then I should be able to ask y out of you, and then we should be able to return and it, and I always felt like there wasn't that. There was always like, well, this is just the way. It is not anymore in this industry, or not anymore in any industry.
Speaker 1:I feel like we're getting away from that because nowadays you know well for one, information is shared on such a high level nowadays and so quickly, that you don't you don't want to be that person that's caught on either side, not giving that hundred percent, but it still is out there and I still feel like people fight that all the time, like, like, whether it be whatever pds to pay or whatever, or hours you know, I think that's the biggest one is hours. It's like you expect me to work 18, 20 hours a day, come right back, do it again for four days straight, and then you're gonna not give me a full day off to even recover. I have to get on like some shitty charter to then go to an airport, to then sit in an airport, to then fly in late and then what? Like? We don't even have rooms, rooms. Now.
Speaker 1:I think that there's so many things that lack in the industry that people don't speak up for because they're scared that someone will black flag them or blacklist them or whatever it may be. I think that it should be brought up more, because then I think then, in turn, people's mental health will be better on the road for one, because then they won't be scared to speak their mind and hopefully someone like not, I don't think they should shame people, but at the same time should be brought up to where people like, oh, don't go, work for them the, the um, the phrase.
Speaker 2:To circle back, to kind of begin this last part of figuring out this daily how, how to daily self-improve, right? So, kyle, to take it back to what your original question was like, what are the tangible things as opposed to? You know, the big etherical word of mental health, the becoming obsessed with improvement, is a word or a sentence I took out of one of the books I was reading, and it's that, more than anything in terms of goals or the end game or whatever, because we know that that goalpost is always going to move, or that there's always going to be more to achieve, more to improve on the idea of the process, right, process, right, becoming obsessed with the process, because as long as you're obsessed with that process and working on the thing, it's always going to be progress. It's the grace royce thing, right, you can only coast downhill, right, so right, um, um, and it's it's I.
Speaker 2:It's as many of these books I keep reading. Um, and it's it's I. It's as many of these books I keep reading. It's so funny how I can still just sum up you will find what you are looking for. You know, like it, just, it's it's the stick, and grow rich, you will find what you are looking for. It's literally the summary of this book and the you know it's all in your head book and, uh, whatever other books that are my desk right now. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like that, that it's anyway, hey, man, and and let's do this if you listen to the end of the podcast and you made it this far, let us know on our socials what you guys do for treatment. You know, what do you do to treat yourself? Do you go to see someone? Do you take a pill Like what works for you?
Speaker 2:Journaling or combination. Yeah, it's not like, it's not one thing and it's, and yeah.
Speaker 3:Cause cause. That's it, chris. That's how we built this last thing. We built a community, like we built a community of people that gave a shit about each other, and I'm still very proud that we had almost zero fights in social media because we were so open and honest about what we had to talk about, like everybody patrolled themselves, everybody helped out, everyone pitched in, everyone did the thing. Like we didn't even have to tell those people that. So I think it's not a bad question to ask our listeners to be like hey, what do you do to treat yourself? I wrote two other quotes that I felt pretty proud of.
Speaker 3:The return on investment is determined by the effort you put towards it.
Speaker 3:A great sales thing.
Speaker 3:A great thing if you're talking about relationships with businesses or bosses or how you conduct yourself, and I love this one because this helped me put a lot of things in perspective and held myself accountable, which I think, philip, you said it the best.
Speaker 3:You kind of got to hold yourself accountable at the beginning, because if you don't, you're just gonna end up blaming everything around you, whether it's environmental, people, whatever it is.
Speaker 3:It's like hold yourself accountable and ask yourself the serious questions, like that's how you're gonna know if you have a handle on your mental health or if you're emotionally available or if you're an active listener or you're you know that's how you answer a lot of those questions for yourself, and it is, um, people that are important think about others, and then people who think they are important think about themselves, and I think of a lot more people kind of took that in a perspective is like they use outlets to show people how important they are. It's like we don't have to do that. You really don't have to do that, because the people that will turn around and help you in our community are the ones that just know that you're doing important things for other people as well. Um, and those are the three things that I'm living by right now is like, if I'm going to set an expectation for someone else, I should be able to offer that to someone else as well, and, um, I'm better, not great it's good and I want to.
Speaker 2:All right I the thing was going to me when you said all that was you're saying you're better and it's going to be okay when tomorrow you're not right. So and that's that's also what I'm learning too is like just life is gonna be a fucking rollercoaster.
Speaker 1:Right, I read this book. Not to interrupt you, sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're good, you're good, all good. Hit me up when you're done. Are you Go go? It was your, okay.
Speaker 1:The 12 Rules for Life, or 12 Rules for it was Jordan Peterson. Oh, I totally want to read that. Hands down. Both of them are really good, but I'll say that there's one thing that resonates in my brain and it's exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 1:So he said, if you were to just like try to be 1% better every day and you took 365 days well, not every day is going to be great, right, but what if you just thought about a scale like what if just 200 of those days you were a percent better?
Speaker 1:That means that in a year, you're 200 better than you would have been if you wouldn't have just tried something right. And so that when I was first starting to go through everything that I was going through, that just really really hit me because it was like, oh, okay, part okay, part of it is showing up right, holding myself accountable. But then the other part is like actively going what did I do yesterday and what can I do today? That would be just a touch better than yesterday, whether it be just being a little more truthful or just like being a little more accountable to what I ate, right, because you can atone it to anything that you're doing, right? You can atone it to mental health, physical health, spiritual health, like whatever. And so you don't have to read 20 pages a day. What if you just read one page every day for a year? You would read 300. You'd read a year. You would read 300.
Speaker 1:You'd read a book yep yep, and if you didn't read a book in 20 years, that means that you read a book and like that's amazing and truthful to like truthful to yourself if because you're never going to be truthful to your even your closest friend, if you're not truthful to yourself first.
Speaker 2:That's another thing that I've learned through this, you know, through this year, is that, um, because I don't care how close I am to kyle or my best friend jeremy or whatever, there's still going to be a little bit of a mask, a filter or whatever, or whatever I say and do, and so, until I can be honest with my fucking self, you know whether it's in the eating, right. You know mental right, reading right, work right, whatever the freaking thing is. That's and that's part of that just that daily exercise of like, if you can't be honest with yourself, I don't care how close to a therapist, I don't care how good of a therapist it is right, like, no matter how good that therapist is, if you're not good with yourself, that therapist ain't gonna do shit. Sorry, I already lied.
Speaker 3:Wasn't one of the Jordan Peterson's thing to make your bed every day?
Speaker 1:That might be. I think one of the big ones that you were just hitting on, Chris, was. It was tell the truth or try not to lie To yourself.
Speaker 2:Just in general.
Speaker 1:But that's one of those rules, though, that it's so hard, because it starts with you, right? And he always, like some people, love him, hate him, doesn't matter. It's like you know. That's not the point. What he said, though, is such a truthful thing, though, because it's like, if you are willing to lie to yourself, then you'll. Then what holds you back from lying to the next person, to the next person, to the next person, and then it folds out the opposite way too.
Speaker 1:Well, how do you make the world better? Well, it starts with you, right. So there's the first thing. So it starts with you. Then, if you're honest with yourself and everything, or as close to honest as possible, right to everything you do, then then you're trying every day to be better, right? So then the next person would be that, like, let's just say, your daughter right, or your daughters, or my kids right, so. So then I don't try to go and like save the dolphins tomorrow. No, what I do is I try to be honest with them and I try to show them the best thing, right, because then they would then show outside, and then that circle moves right, and then the community gets better, and then your city gets better, and then your city to your state and your state to your country I've heard that before and I think it's so awesome because there's so many people out there that are fighting the war against everything and it's like dude, why don't you start in your house first, please, right and like what?
Speaker 3:it just makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, take it take it to like a fucking tour. Take it to a tour like right, just your team, like okay, like I'm just trying to be good to some of your listeners, what if your team just tried to be the example and then it just moves outward right and it's not going to work everywhere, because it also takes people, sorry, sorry, takes people that want to be better too. All right, like speaking of that social experiment.
Speaker 2:Speaking of things we're watching right now I didn't say this earlier because I don't know if it's trash tv or not. Um, it probably was. The roadie cartel isn't on tv yet, don't?
Speaker 1:know if it's trash tv or not? Um it probably. The roadie cartel isn't on tv yet. Don't be calling it.
Speaker 2:No, on netflix there's a new thing um, uh, that it's um. There's this, uh, it's about a jail or about a, about a prison or uh, shocking, and a sheriff has this new concept where, yeah, where this, uh, the? The sheriff has a concept of, um, that if they, that, if these prisoners or whatever, are in their cells for 23 hours a day, they only get an hour out in the common area. Right, and he's like. You know what he's like? I'm going to do a six-week social experiment. Social experiment and for six weeks, all the doors are unlocked, the guards are removed and you guys get to live as a community, because we believe in you, that we want to reinstate you as a community and that you'll be able to, as a community, be able to build each other up and be the better person and whatever. Um, that. So I've only one episode in, so I haven't seen how the experiment is going yet, but it's kind of the same thing, it's okay. How is this group going to respond with this responsibility of?
Speaker 3:Let's try this with criminals.
Speaker 1:They all started selling coke and now they're all rich millionaires again. They're all driving Ferraris to their outdoor activities Awesome.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, so I think this is as good as best. As we, as three um, uh, dads, roadies, humans are able to be as real with ourselves as, um what we're going through, I hope people can. Um, I, and honestly, you know, if people get something, that's great, and I'm sure people will. The number one thing I've also learned through all this is and I've said this in the beginning I'm doing this for me and it's not a selfish thing, right? So Kyle and I, and maybe Phillip at other times, we're going to continue to do this for us, and that's all that matters to me at the end of the day.
Speaker 1:Thanks for having me on again. I really enjoyed chatting with you guys via text message. Hell yeah, but then also on here.
Speaker 3:Rest in peace.
Speaker 2:OJ Go buy Philip's book and listen to Philip's book.
Speaker 1:The Rooted Cartel, the juice, the juice, yeah, yes, yeah. The audio is all out now. It's on the audio. It's all out now. It's ready. It's ready for consumption.
Speaker 3:One page and I'll finish it with them 60. You.