Navigating life's turbulent waters often requires us to pause and reassess the sails of our mental well-being. That's precisely the voyage we undertake in this episode, where the aftermath of a podcast departure and other life circumstances sets the stage for a deep dive into the essence of personal growth. We open up about our struggles with mental health and the profound impact taking a break has had on our clarity and purpose.
We discuss the importance of proactive mental health care, taking cues from our previous discussions with the Roadie Clinic and embedding the significance of simple life skills into the fabric of success. Our reflections extend to the subtle art of balancing gratitude with personal ambition, questioning whether the goals we set truly steer us toward fulfillment.
The Loose Connection podcast is Hosted by Chris Leonard & Kyle Chirnside
email us at looseconnectionpod@gmail.com
Follow us on Instagram , Facebook,
Navigating life's turbulent waters often requires us to pause and reassess the sails of our mental well-being. That's precisely the voyage we undertake in this episode, where the aftermath of a podcast departure and other life circumstances sets the stage for a deep dive into the essence of personal growth. We open up about our struggles with mental health and the profound impact taking a break has had on our clarity and purpose.
We discuss the importance of proactive mental health care, taking cues from our previous discussions with the Roadie Clinic and embedding the significance of simple life skills into the fabric of success. Our reflections extend to the subtle art of balancing gratitude with personal ambition, questioning whether the goals we set truly steer us toward fulfillment.
The Loose Connection podcast is Hosted by Chris Leonard & Kyle Chirnside
email us at looseconnectionpod@gmail.com
Follow us on Instagram , Facebook,
We have talked about. You know, on the other podcast, we talked a lot about mental health and I realized that I have talked a lot about it, I believe in working towards it, but I definitely have not taken enough action on my own mental health. You know all the things to do, but are we actually putting them into action? You and I, we came out of a pretty rough time last year in terms of leaving the other podcasts and the way where they went down and all that happened with it. Um, I know I personally I spiraled pretty heavily, honestly, through the process, um, and so, coming into this year, it was like it was like one of those things that's like okay, it's done and over. What are you going to do about it now? Kyle Chernside How's it going, dude?
Speaker 2:Chris Leonard, holy shit, you know what, and I think we pick up always like right where we left off. So I'm not worried about it, but like I needed a break, bro, you were doing a lot of stuff, I was doing a lot of things, I needed to shut it down. It's all good. It's all good, it's all good. I might still be in shutdown mode. We'll see. We'll see how weird this gets.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, it's for anyone who is actually following along or listens back from in the future and listens back. There has been a seven-week gap since the last time you and I have sat down and podcasted.
Speaker 2:Yeah, was Phillip, our last one.
Speaker 1:No, we had Tasia. Oh yeah, tasia was rad, tasia was our last one, yep.
Speaker 2:Holy cow. So let's talk about that for a second. Let's recap. Let's do a recap. Tasia was awesome because we got to do another artist that was kind of like a freelance artist that just went and did her own thing and I I loved the story of getting there for her and and that aspect of it, it put a different spin on the artist presentation because she wasn't like the main focal point but the trials and tribulations of being a hired gun and going in and doing that thing was really fun to listen to. Yep Uh Philip, who obviously his book that's still sitting on my nightstand which has inspired you to read how many books now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm a year to date I have completed, uh yeah. So year to date I have completed either physically reading or listening to nine total books, including his, the Rody Cartel, and I am pretty damn close to finishing my 10th, and I've started to dabble on about five other books. So I have gone on a reading bender this year, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:All sparred by the Rhodey Cartel book.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. And Philip in general, I mean he's been actually a big source of inspiration for me just this year, actually the past two, three years, quite frankly, as I found him with his podcasting with his wife and stuff, as I found him with his you know, his podcasting with his wife and stuff and um, but I mean the, the, his book has definitely launched me into, um, yeah, getting into reading, and it's been one of the best things for my, my mental health, uh, in quite some time.
Speaker 2:Hot take on Philip. He's like the the blink one 82 green day punk rock book guy, like just the way he approaches things, you know, it's kind of like his attitude and his processing of things that happen around him in his imagination, like the imagination part to me. I mean, we talked about it a lot in the podcast. Please go back and listen. Have, if you haven't like, the imagination of developing characters beyond yourself and beyond you know, and it just it was amazing. Like dude, we've never interviewed anybody who's done a book like that.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean that was certainly that was crazy.
Speaker 2:That was crazy, it was good yeah, and then the one before that uh was dietrich Lohmann, which absolutely blew up Loose Connection for a minute.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Dietrich is the engineer at Not Fallon anymore.
Speaker 1:He's late night with Seth Meyers.
Speaker 2:Seth Meyers, that's right, he was on Fallon for a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he toured with the Roots for like 20 years but then moved over late night with Seth Meyers about. That's right, he was on Fallon for a little bit. Yeah, he toured with the Roots for like 20 years but then moved over late. It was Seth Meyers about six years ago.
Speaker 2:Blew up loose connection, seriously like between his friends and family. Like we could have lived off that episode probably for about another year because it was that like I've listened to that episode probably three times Incredible Before thatad olick, who was a guest on that other, on that other podcast, not to be named, um chad's always a good discussion. Uh, farnah house and production manager for that little tiny band from chicago. Uh, fallout boy yep fall boy maybe.
Speaker 2:Maybe you've heard of him, I don't know, and actually and philip actually just went out to see fallout boy.
Speaker 2:He went in nashville when uh and um and saw and saw chad, so yeah, yeah, oh so we did the kickoff before that, but probably one of my favorite hilarious conversations ever on the podcast. I don't know. There's been some funny. There's been some funny shit that's been said, but brian diaz holy shit. I want to get that dude back as well. Like, make sure you check out his photography. Brian diaz photography on instagram. Um, I forgot who he's out with right now. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:Blink-182. Yeah, that little band, tiny Mark Hoppus' bass tech man. Conversations have been so good and I notice now that we took this little break me and you talk on a regular basis. I mean, it was a little spotty there for a minute, but you're making me process things a lot differently, especially when I want to express something to somebody, whether it's in a text message or a phone call, or at school to my students, or as a coach with Kemper, or at home with Kemp. Like I really started to choose my words wisely.
Speaker 2:Um, and going way back to we, we've been podcasting now for five years, plus five years, and I've mentioned it before. I listened to a couple of the first podcasts that I was on and I was like, holy shit, I am boring. But now when I listen, I like how, when the conversation goes, because, um, I think we ask a lot of questions that people don't normally ask of these people. Like you can go listen to another Brian Diaz podcast episode, but I think we got into a lot of things just that that he hadn't talked about or didn't have time to expand on, or whatever the case may be, and a lot of people don't even get into, like the family relationship or the emotional relationship with people.
Speaker 2:So, carrying that on, I think now I might be a little bit smarter person, just because I kind of choose my words more wisely when I'm trying to explain something or I'm asking a question to somebody, and I'm sure, with reading nine fucking books, holy cow, you're probably doing the same too, you, I? You immediately said before you went on vacation you're like I'm on another journey, like this is a journey now, like I'm on this thing. Explain that to me. Like what? What do you mean when you say that?
Speaker 1:yeah, I, I think so. It's funny. I even I even briefly started journaling as well. Um, I, I, you know it was much easier when I was on vacation and I had a lot less responsibility. I've I've yet to actually pick back up the journaling since I've been home. I went on vacation for a week, um, but you know I was, I was writing two, three pages a night in a journal. You know, um and uh, that was something else that kind of Philip and I actually talked about. He was like, oh, next thing, you know you're gonna.
Speaker 1:We talked a lot about mental health. You know, through the pandemic and coming out of the pandemic and stuff, and I realized that I have talked a lot about it, I believe in working towards it, um, but I definitely have not taken enough action on my own mental health. You know it's it's an easy thing to be like, oh, yeah, we need to worry about this. So we need to do this and we've talked to the people, we've talked to the Roti Clinic, we've talked to other people and we you know all the things to do, but are we actually putting them into action?
Speaker 1:You know, you and I we came out of a pretty rough time last year in terms of leaving the other podcasts and the way where they went down and all that happened with it. I know I personally I spiraled pretty heavily, honestly, through the process. Yeah, man, and so coming into this year, it was like one of those things that's like okay's done and over. What are you gonna do about it now? You know, um, and what you know. You can't just sit here and live in this thing.
Speaker 1:You know, it was one of those things where, like, I had to the gary e quote dude well, yeah, I was gonna get there, but like, um, I believe it was one of those things where, like, I had to go through the thing for a minute in terms of whether it was grief, whether it was frustration, like what. All the things had been tough or been dealing, maybe, with some difficult people and working through some stuff, and I came across you know this Gary V quote that kind of stopped me and has kind of reshaped my mind. It is the simplest thing and he was like this is one of the most important questions you can ask yourselves, or things you can. You know way you could think and it's you will find what you're looking for.
Speaker 1:Yep and um, it stopped me and because you know the, the first thing it was I was thinking about maybe this uh, direct report that I've been working with and things haven't been going well and I'm trying to, you know, write the ship or whatever. And it's like it's easy to find the negative in someone nothing doing wrong. It's like am I actually I'll find all the wrong things this person doing, but am I looking for the good things that this person is doing also? Um, so that was actually the first thing that grabbed me and then I was like okay, I started expanding that and it's like okay did it expand in inward to yourself then, after you were looking as I'm saying.
Speaker 1:so, like it was like okay, am I? Am I? If I continue to wallow or think about my headspace of whatever went down with the last podcast and all the things that came with it, or whatever? Um, I'll keep finding that depression and that frustration and whatever. But am I looking for the turning of the page? Am I looking for improvement and whatever? And if you just start to take that sentence and you will find what you're looking for, and it's like, if you're looking for the negative, you're going to find the negative, if you're looking for the positive, you're going to find the positive, and you just start putting that focus on anything that you're doing. Um and um, it's it that that that has centered me so far this year to maybe change course a little bit.
Speaker 2:I like you've sent. I needed it three times. Um, there was a pastor in um and he does inspirational speaking too, so it's not like a, a religious saying by any means or anything, but um, that that your life is like a boat and, uh, it's not bad until the situation outside gets on the inside. And, um, you know, when we start taking water, it's easier to look to someone else to help validate or take sides or be sympathetic or empathetic to your situation. Like, it's a lot easier to hear those things instead of, like, putting it aside it. And it's also when you talk about negative. It seems like if someone says something negative to you or something negative happens to you, your response is in direct correlation with that quote, like if you keep thinking that it's just going to dwell and it's just going to. And, yeah, man. Thank you, paul and Courtney Clemson.
Speaker 2:I have reached out currently with Backline Cares and I will be getting therapy here soon. Like you said, we like to talk about it a lot and it seems like there's a bunch of things in our lives that we only reach to when we're in need, and this time I'm not doing that anymore. Like from now on out I'm not doing that anymore. It's like health care. It's like they have a band-aid for everything, but you don't need the band-aid until you get hurt.
Speaker 2:And sometimes, if you do the preemptive care and you learn these words and sayings and how to ask yourself the right questions and surround yourself with the right people, um, it makes all the difference in the outcome and easier to put that thing away. That is still bugging you. I mean, I've even talked to my students about it, we've talked about it on the podcast. You're going to get fired. You're going to get fired, and it might not even be your fault, it might just be politics, yep. And you were there when I got let go from some stuff and it was like I just sat there and dwelled on it and you're like, well, what are you going to do next? And I'm not saying you don't need that moment of grief, because there's a lot of. There's a pain that comes with it. It's like a physical pain.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I mean, look, you know anybody who knew us personally through you know the leaving of the last podcast. They definitely saw my pain specifically, I mean, a lot of people have checked in on me multiple times Like, dude, you're all right. Um and um, you know it's interesting. So you know, obviously probably have a lot of things underlined, a lot of the books that I've recently read, and so um and and one of the books that was recommended to me by sam boone, actually um um is, uh, an astronaut's guide to life on earth. Right and um and it's, it was is a fascinating book and the interesting thing first off, before I get to some of the quotes that directly relate to what we're just talking about, is he um.
Speaker 1:Being an astronaut is very much like being a roadie. I know that sounds ridiculous, but there was so many things about this book that that related to touring. It's not even a fun tea, not even funny, but there's three things that I underlined about that relate to what we're talking about here. So the whole process of becoming an astronaut helped me understand that what really matters is not the value someone else assigns to a task, but how personally I feel while performing it. That's why, during 11 years, I was grounded. I loved my life Talking about the difference of like being grounded versus being an astronaut, just loving everything he does.
Speaker 1:This is the thing that really stuck out to me, though Endings don't have to be emotionally wrenching if you believe you did a good job and you're prepared to let go now. So, if I put that in the context of the signals of noise podcast and that whole leaving, we weren't prepared to be let go. No, so, um, um, and was it emotionally wrenching? Yes, so what that helped me look back and go all right.
Speaker 1:Right, that was again, if I'm going to turn the page on being, you know, as proud as can be about what it is that we accomplished, who we got to talk to, what we did, both for us, for other people, um, I'm, I'm, I believe we did a good job and I can, I, I got to rest on that and turn the page. Um and um, you know so. And and then, right above that, in this article or an article, the chapter was, like you know, he finds every day fulfilling, whether he's on or off the planet, you know. So, like um, I, when we were, when I was, or, you know we were. You know I lived week to week on this ride that we were on for four years doing that podcast, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then, when it was gone, I honestly had a hard time finding things fulfilling and I had to re-understand what it was to be fulfilled, you know, and that obviously wasn't healthy, right, Right, you know we talked about finding satisfaction in the small things. So I think that's the thing that I'm trying to. I've been trying to learn now of you know, re-centering where I find my fulfillment. Yeah and yeah.
Speaker 2:I love that because I think we've talked to a lot of people because we're service industry and it's kind of in our blood and it trickles down through our relationships, our personal experiences, everything. We almost live through someone else's satisfaction with our product, whatever that product is.
Speaker 1:Yes, product, whatever that product is. Yes, and um, I very much, probably to a fault, fed off of, because you know we were creatives or we're putting a I hate to even call it a product, but we're putting content and things out there. So there was definitely a part of me who fed off of the and not even like a popularity thing of like, yes, but there were thousands of people who genuinely cared to hear what we had to say. Um, and I probably took a little bit of too unhealthy fixation on that part of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it was, it was personal and that's what I was going to get to the this. We we did this over COVID, so we had like a blanket that we put over COVID because we were providing to something to people who weren't going to work anymore and, uh, I think that helped us get through that point of our life, you know.
Speaker 2:I was working at home Depot but I knew every week that we were sitting down and talking to people that were home and that got us talking into emotion. So fast forward to these last seven weeks, these last eight episodes, or whatever that we've done from from the launch until now. Um, I've started to do that in my personal life is like what do I find joy in? Because we always talk about not being able to shut off this work thing, and weighing those and believing in those outweighs the negative at some point it really does. And I at this point I'll say it on this podcast I don't think I'm going to tour ever again, and it's all for a good reason. It's all for my family and my responsibilities and building what I can to leave a legacy for people, and that's what the podcast was for us before, with the unnamed podcast that you said twice, I don't care.
Speaker 2:I don't care either At this point, I don't give a shit whatever. But I find joy in coaching and I find joy in teaching. Now. I find joy in teaching now. I find joy in being at home and having an environment where it's light and things can. Things can just happen like organically, like, um, I think I texted you about four weeks ago and I was like I don't know who, I am, dude, this isn't me, I don't feel like me. And you told me a bunch of good stuff and, um, I sat there and I thought about it.
Speaker 2:I was like why am I mourning things now? Because I've literally been mourning things for a long time. Why am I going to sit here and mourn them out even longer? Like why am I gonna put myself to this grief? But then I realize that there is such thing is like a trauma bonding, you know, and that's where I am with the, with moving forward with everything, is like realizing that I have this thing, how it affects my body and then what I need to do to get rid of it.
Speaker 2:I didn't go to the gym for four weeks. Weird, like I'm there every day, whether I walk in, set my stuff down, lift two weights and go home, I'm there. If I'm there for 45 minutes and I do a whole like body or whatever, I'm there, like not going. For three weeks I shut off everything that was making me okay to feel this grief and more and more and and I'm done mourning like so thank goodness for therapy coming up, because I have a lot of questions. I have a lot of questions and, like I said when we first started talking at the beginning of this thing, I think I've found a way to communicate now that makes me feel like I can be heard correctly and I can ask the right questions, because I can be descriptive, I can literally pinpoint things.
Speaker 2:This happened when this happened. How do I make that stop? What is going to make the difference? Like, how do I reverse this? Um, I'm gonna I'm definitely going to pick up some books. That um, getting rich book. I left it in the seat pocket of a Southwest flight. So whoever got that more power to him. Because I think I described it as the secret. I mean everyone's heard of the secret. You know what I mean. It's like, oh, if you think positively, everything's positive. But this was like the big explanation, this was like the detailed explanation and like Philip said on the podcast it's it's not specifically about getting rich or making money, it's just having a positive mindset and how to move forward through things that are a little bit difficult. Like if you sit there and focus on it, that's what you're going to get. Thank you, gary V.
Speaker 2:And at some point it does make sense, because that podcast crushed us. We were pissed. We weren't talking about it, we didn't. I mean, we voiced certain opinions out in public, but mostly that was me listening to your story, me telling my story and being like what the fuck? And then look what spawned out of that. Like now we're actually having more intelligent conversations with different variety of guests, like things that might not even interest us at both. But we can find we can find this stupid connection that we all have with each other that it matters. Like you said, astronauts and fucking roadies. Like it doesn't make sense until you pick it apart, but then it completely makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure doesn't make sense until you pick it apart, but then it completely makes sense, yeah for sure. Yeah, the, the, the whole like self-help uh thing for the longest time is honestly like irked the shit out of me. Same. Like like the, the, the, the quotes, the, the, the, the overtly positivity thing, or whatever you know, and I even still, even as I'm kind of going through this, I still wrestle with it, but I'm like it's one of those.
Speaker 1:You know what, though, like, there is a part of like, if I, you know, you'll find what you're looking for, right, like, if you, if you, if you can focus on these things and latch on to these things, you know, like this one, the one book that I had read is a very uh, it's a small book, so it, you know I'm cheating and saying I've read this many books I did because it's just a small, quick book, right, but, um, this book called, uh, it's all in your head, um, get out of your way, um, and I should probably buy this one for you, um, but it talks about the whole like manifesting and and and and and headspace stuff, and it's like it's, it's, it's on the surface is so cliche, but it's like. One thing I've noticed is that it, it's, it is so simple about controlling the mind. You know, um, uh, the some of the self-reflecting that I've been doing is that. You know, uh, for those who know me, the end, the end of this year, I'll be 40. Hey, congratulations, and I don't give a fuck about my actual age or the fact I'm turning 40.
Speaker 1:But three or four of the audio books that I listened to were memoirs by dudes in their 50s, right?
Speaker 2:Dave Grohl, will Smith, matthew McConaaughey and I've heard of some of these guys, yeah and then I listened to anthony burd daves.
Speaker 1:I don't know how old he was when he wrote that um, kitchen confidential, but anyway, at least the first three, uh, they're all like in their 50s going. Huh, I've been on this journey. I'm gonna do some self-reflecting. Here's where I fucked up, here's what I've learned, here's where I'm going right. Um, and there's this thread through all of them that, um, anytime they were in this place of either not thinking right, not acting right or whatever it really did, come back to the mind, you know, um and in and like checking themselves. And it's like, okay, if I can take these dudes who were in their fifties, who it took them till they were 50 to kind of figure this shit out, can I get a 10 year jump on figuring some stuff out? And like, um, and and and, and maybe in 10 years I'll write my memoir of of what this next 10 years is going to look like for me and how I was able to kind of self-reflect and move forward.
Speaker 2:So, um, that's, you know, that's kind of where my head, you know is, is spinning with right now so, since I haven't written any books or read any books, because I'm a horrible person, um, my mom, who I've talked about on the show before, and um, she's been a huge part of my life Like um. She's an ex nurse. She was the head nurse at hope hospital in Arkansas for a long time in addiction and mental health Uh, the the best thing, man. I could probably list a bunch of the best things, but the thing that she said to me a while back that still I think about and I tell to everybody on the phone, is sometimes helping yourself is the hardest thing that you could do.
Speaker 2:Says that, as a nurse, you know, is like, yep, you can, you can sit there and give advice and learn about every bit of it, but until you actually live it and learn how to apply it, sometimes you can't help yourself. So that's where the self-help thing gets lost on me, and that I think it takes someone whether it's from the book or an audiobook, or a therapist or even a peer or a mentor telling you the right things at the right time is where it'll resonate and you can actually put those things into action, like um, because I I'm pretty sure that most of us feel like we're crazy sometimes, like um, I, I, I have to question myself and be like you know, hey, am I doing the right thing? And it's awesome to look for reassurance, but it's it's also awesome to kind of figure out from doing it. And I think the hardest step, like you said, was just submerging yourself in it, starting to journal, starting to read, saying I need a new direction and heading that way.
Speaker 1:The reading thing helped me slow down. As you know, I'm an overthinker. Yeah me, um, slow down. As you know, I'm an overthinker. Yeah, um and um I, I what I used to say. The reason I didn't read before is because I'd find myself reading a page, two, three pages, and I was two, three pages in to something and then I realized I don't know what I just read because I was thinking about something else. So once I was able to get intentional about like shutting down distraction and shutting other things off and like being focused, it had to force myself to be more methodical about it and process. So it's causing me to slow down, which is something I think I needed. Um, cause I think too fast and too much uh about things.
Speaker 2:So I think I get overwhelmed with myself and I self isolate and I definitely realize that I'm going to give away. And the self-isolating thing like that one still is something that I probably need some help with. Is is like, if something detrimental happens, trauma mentally, physically, whatever the case may be, is like I kind of it's almost like a fear, like I I don't, I don't feel like leaving the house if I I don't feel like I'm getting anything done. I uh I consume myself in things that aren't, that are like mind numbing. Like a lot of people use social media like scrolling, like I got Kemper and iPad and like now she just like on YouTube reels.
Speaker 1:Well, it's a dopamine hit. You're looking for that. Continual dopamine hit is what that is. You know that's. I mean, that's the social media and the. You know that's what you know. That's that's the social media and the. You know, that's what you know. That's what tiktok and reels and stuff feed us is that the, the dopamine will never stop. That's why you got to keep scrolling. There's nothing to actually stop that.
Speaker 2:We're addicted to the dopamine hits yep, and it's like when you make a post, you're looking for the dopamine hit for likes, so like shares and comments, and you're you're getting notifications every time someone hits a thumbs up. You know it's like. It's like, oh, I did something and then I realized sometimes I just posted to make everybody think that everything was okay. Yep and um, that there are a few people out there that can see through that, which those are special people, because I really think that social media, with the dopamine hits and stuff like that, a lot of people are blind to what's really going on in those people's lives and it's a great way to mask it to the public. Yep, it's kind of a cheap shot. It's a cheap shot to yourself and it's a cheap shot that everybody cares about you, that's around you, and I think if you do it for long enough and you're just covering up things, that people will figure it out and your validity kind of goes down the drain. And um, I I don't do that right now like if I don't have anything to say probably check on me because I'm not posting something to cover it up at this point. Like, right, I noticed that I'm more active when I'm looking for that dopamine. One, or I'm looking to cover something up. Two, I think a lot for a 50-year-old man. On social media, I think I'm gonna post more genuine shit from now on out, like genuinely joyous shit, like I don't wanna have to go through and go. Oh, I had a blast at this show where I loaded in cases off a truck. No, that shit ain't fun. I'm I am bullshitting. I'm looking for people to hit likes because I'm in nashville and they're not. You know what I mean, right? No, I'm gonna. It's gonna be genuine and I think every time I go to hit a like on something, I'm looking. I'm saying, man, is this person just looking for some fucking validation? Like are, do they genuinely want me to care about this fucking thing? Is that mean? But I mean it seems so fucking true though it's like, am I looking for validation or do I genuinely give a shit that you think it's cool that I was at the school today, like um. So I think that goes around with my first statement. I'm just going to be more honest with myself. That way I know what the effect is, why I'm doing it and I've intentionality yeah, just the intention behind it.
Speaker 2:Like I see so many people, fitness people. Oh my god, they're the fucking worst. Fitness people are the fucking worst you know. And um, they're like half naked. They're in a planet fitness. There's people, other people, trying to fucking work out and they have on like stuff up their ass and like their shirt off or whatever the case may be. But think about it. Real, real world shit. Do you want to fucking date that person? Do you know how many likes they got because they were doing like curls or whatever, how many tripods do they have set up at the gym?
Speaker 2:yeah, you're a fucking pain in the ass. Take your shit home, like, quit it. And I know a lot of gyms have like, said no, like you can't do that anymore.
Speaker 2:But it amazes me, like with a girl fitness person or whatever, and it's all about like the sexuality of the thing, and there's so many dudes hitting the like button. Is that really what you want to fucking portray to people? You really want to date like somebody's already sick of their shit because of what they post. You know what I mean. Like their boyfriend's like oh God not again with the shorts.
Speaker 2:So I think, being more intentional about how we did this in Signal to Noise, we realized at a certain point that it had to be no veil in front of what we did. Like that, what we had was you saw, what you saw on social media of us personally is what we were on the show and I think that's important. Like um, there's intention behind that. Like 90 of the stuff I post on my personal sites goes on loose connection or, like it just it's a shared thing. Like um, I think transparency is a huge bit and I wish more people would talk about it. Like mental health and and manifestation. And the life coaches or whatever they're called the tony robbins, the gary v's, the whatever, like they're. They're hip right now.
Speaker 1:That's hip yeah, and that's why I'm what I'm. Um, I was trying to explain this one my co-workers actually and it's like you know, specifically, like this book, like the astronaut's guide to life on earth, like this is not a self help book, right, this is this dude's you know journey of being an astronaut, and like what life and space taught him on earth. Like, or even those memoirs that I've listened to, you know, will smith, matt mcconaughey, uh, dave growl, you know what I was able to do through them is I I don't know, uh, I like the psychology of things, as part of why I liked podcasting and talking to people, I like to study people, um, and, and so I found myself being able to process stuff of my life by hearing someone else process thing and things and theirs, um, you know, dave, girl being a dad of, you know, dad of three girls being a girl dad like me, you know, and he was kind of processing things like that, or will smith? Um, he talked about his relationship with his dad and stuff and, like, dude, I actually straight up cried at the end of his book, believe it or not.
Speaker 1:I'm like I was driving back from vacation, like four o'clock in the morning listening to audiobook dude. I literally was like wiping tears from my face when he was talking about when his dad died, um and uh, but anyway. So like I just I like the psychology of processing, hearing other people process life out loud and then me using that as a mechanism to me to process things of my world. So it doesn't just have to be so. I'm trying to find a balance of either, like leadership and self-help and just other things.
Speaker 1:You know people's you know stories, you know, as you know, I've always been interested in other people's story, you know, or us telling. I've always been interested in people's story, you know, or us telling our story and not trying to say here's the 10 things. That way you should do this Like no, no, no, I'm going to tell a story. You pull what you want from that story, cause I guarantee anybody who's listened to those other books or readings of the books, they're all going to pull different things from those stories, and that's the beauty of it. Um, so that's where I've been kind of finding other therapy as well, and I'm not saying this is going to. This is certainly not a replacement for the therapy that I know I need, but this is an avenue that is working for me right now.
Speaker 2:I love the psychology of it. Back in the 1900s, when I was in college, I took psychology and sociology, but I precisely remember I think I still have it in one of my bins downstairs or whatever but I had to write a paper on persuasion and cohesive persuasion and the different tactics, almost like debate topics how to get people to answer things so you can win, type motivation, and uh, I've had to revisit that a couple times because there's not a ton of papers written on that thing. But I think if people take the time to study about why these words affect people so much and how they use their words to affect people so much, they can kind of see through that and get the underlying. Like you said, write the story for yourself from their story.
Speaker 2:But some people just take it as like just a story or you have to believe them because they said this no, there's more to it and I might I don't know, I might take my master's and I might kind of dive into that again, because it's always been interesting to me, especially the sociology part of it, the sociology part of it, just the interaction of people as a whole. You know how communities work, how tribal stuff works, how family works um, because even at those small interactions beyond yourself or one individual is more detrimental to living your day-to-day life. It's like a small group of people can affect you way more than an individual. At some point and maybe I'll dive into it, I'll see- have you ever been goal-oriented?
Speaker 2:Good question.
Speaker 1:Let me think about that for a second because, because I I thought about that right, so, like it was one of the things that I kind of journaled about, I started to think about it.
Speaker 1:But as I was thinking about you know I'm not trying to over dramatize the fact that like I'm becoming 40 and what this year means or whatever it's like okay, if I'm, if I'm processing out loud, you know, it's like I I have not been one traditionally to set goals, um, I've just always uh. But I believe I've been able to achieve a lot of good things, whether it be career, personal, whatever, right, um, um and uh, I just it's, and I've been able to just strive for grabbing the thing at the moment and always improving and it's worked out for me. But I think it's also been detrimental where there's been times where I've achieved something, you know um, but maybe didn't get as much satisfaction because it's like, well, what's next? Because I hadn't actually said, oh, I achieved this goal, you know Um, uh, and so I, I, I guess the reason I've I'm wrestling with is like, okay, if I'm going to be, what does improvement look like? What your look like? Should I set some end of the year goals, um, to actually benchmark any type of progress? You?
Speaker 1:know, um, because there's, you know, obviously, the old adage of you know, aiming nothing hit it every time, right? So, uh, you know I wrote down very generalities, right? It's like, okay, well, I want my marriage to be the best it's ever been. I want my finances to be the best it's ever been. I want to be the best you know mental, physical, shape, whatever. You know, all these things by 40. That's all bullshit. That doesn't mean anything. You know that's not a um I uh it's.
Speaker 1:I've always, even in the corporate aspect, I've hated the idea of goals. We do year end reviews. We talk about, all right, what are our goals for this year? I want to do this, this, this, this, and it's like I'm much rather focus on mindset and gen and and know where we need to go on things and we'll get there, not like I. You know I'm going to have this measurable thing. You know I'm going to have these steps across the year that can get to that. I just have never been centered that way, yeah, but I'm contemplating whether is that to a fault and do I need to change that?
Speaker 2:You made me just line up a whole bunch of things in my head about this now, because when you asked the question, I was like the first thing you think about when you go, oh, do you set goals? They're all materialistic at some point and they're just short term. They're like oh, I want this car. Oh, I want to get those shoes, oh, like I want to make enough money to get this apartment Right. Or like I want to be able to go on this vacation. And now I see from you explaining and you'll remember this when we went to CFX and Samantha asked me you know what my legacy would?
Speaker 2:be, and I noticed a change that it was always in front of me as a goal and I was always pursuing it, but it was never something that I said out loud, right, and so I like that. You said all like things that you need to work on physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, like I always put those four the major categories right, yeah and uh.
Speaker 2:I think, now that I've reached a certain, those are the most important as well, and it's not a materialistic thing anymore. It's like, oh, I don't need to make more money, I don't need to. Like, I don't need to spend more time on this, I don't need to. You know what am I really doing this for? Like, do I have to go do it or do I want to go do it, or do I need to go do it and make the decision whether not or to? Is it selfish? I always think about that one too, cause we're family dudes. Like we have to provide for other people besides ourselves. So, um, I have to ask myself sometimes is it a selfish need? Because I love to self self-isolate, I toured for 25 years.
Speaker 2:Like, what was I doing? I was getting on a bus and leaving everything that I couldn't fucking stand behind so I could get a peace of mind and come back a better person. Did it ever work? Debatable, it might have worked for a little bit, but it wasn't a long-term thing that was going to help me out today. But it has, you know, like, like you said, when it comes to like popularity or whatever, it's gotten me jobs, it's gotten me into places that I would have never been. It's put my feet on continents that I would have never seen. It's done a lot of things like that.
Speaker 2:But at the end of the day, that's why, like you said, Anthony Bourdain, it was like I love that. It was a piece of conscious, that his goal was a piece of understanding, a piece of conscious that he did the things for and, uh, I think that's more where I'm at now and I'd never really thought about that. They were all. They were literally all materialistic oh, I want a lifted ford f-150 with, you know, turbo, twin turbos. But that's not like I had to think that out loud, oh, oh, I want this thing, right. But I never said, oh, I have to be a better dad for Kemper, out loud, until I was asked about it, you know. And that was.
Speaker 1:But even that phrase be a better dad. What does that mean? Does that mean two more hours a day with her? Does that mean you provide something different for her? Does that mean you know what different for her? Does that mean you know what I mean? Like, that's where I wrestle with again. What a better relation with a wife, okay. Is that defined by how many dates we go on a year? Is that defined by how well we communicate? You know what I mean? Communication? How do you put a measure on that? Like, oh, I want you.
Speaker 1:So I've always wrestled with like I I struggle with wanting to ever define those things. Let's take it out of relational Even. Let's go back to the old podcast. Right, it's like how many you know goals of? Like, how many downloads is enough? How much views and likes and whatever is enough, how many guests, how many right? There was these like benchmarks. It's like there because, like, we got to the point where it's like we never set out on a goal to get to the 200th right, um, and the 200th was freaking amazing, right. And then it was like, but then there was this collapse. It's like, oh, that maybe didn't feel as good as it was because it wasn't like we ever actually set out to do that, it just came along because we did the thing Just as an example. But then we've talked to people like Brandon Blackwell, who he has these very defined manifestations of like I'm going to do this and I think about my roadmap, I do this, this, this, and I just I've never been oriented that way.
Speaker 2:Um and uh, it's not right or wrong, it's just it's something on the other side that we talked to james whiteman, who was like, if I don't fuck with them, fuck them like it's a yeah, yeah, yeah, do my friends fuck off my shit then.
Speaker 1:Then that's cool, right if no, one else is. So it's okay, yeah, I, I agree, and it's I just um again, here we are. It's like, okay, has what I've always done. Hey, well, I may have gotten to a point here, but do I need to change that to get to a better place or something different? You know, I, you know, it's just I don't know. I guess I'm just airing out where my head is of um, yeah, for sure, yeah, but.
Speaker 2:But you're not saying out loud I want to be number one. I will be number one. I'm going to be the best at this. You're just saying I'm going to better myself. I'm going to, I'm going to be the best at this. You're just saying I'm going to better myself. I'm going to, I'm going to make it an effort. I'm going to put a conscious effort into making things a thing You're not like. I'm going to be number one.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be like they're going to make that mug for me. Let's just say, from a physical standpoint, I want to be in the best physical shape I've ever been, but I'm 40. It's like, okay, what does that mean? Is there a weight number to that? Is there a feeling, a size, a whatever? And if the answer is no, okay, but then how will I know? How will I define success? At the end of this year, I got an idea for just that.
Speaker 2:When you're interviewing somebody and it's an entry level job and they put on there that they woke up at three o'clock every morning to go open a store that nobody wanted to run, and they did it for 10 years straight and were never late, that shows something to you as an interviewer, as someone who's going to employ someone at their place, that they are reliable folk, right, sure. So apply that to your fitness journey. If someone gets up every morning and goes to the gym or goes for a run or meal preps or whatever, they're making a conscious effort to make themselves better and that will make them a better employee for you. I really think that, like, I really think someone that could have a ritual, a regiment I don't even want to call it a ritual, I want to call it a regiment that they do that betters themselves. It makes them more, uh, without saying attractive, attractive to the outside world.
Speaker 2:And physically I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm 51 years old. Like am I at my goal? Uh, it's kind of like heroin. You're always kind of chasing the dragon. You know what I mean. You're. You're never big enough, you're never strong enough. You're never big enough. You're never strong enough. You're never fast enough. You're never like.
Speaker 2:I should have been doing this when I was 20. Like I'm sore, I'm injured, I'm in the dumps, I can't go today. But working out has became therapy. It's a regimen. It's like if I don't go to the gym, I am not right. It's like if I don't go to the gym, I am not right. So I've done something to my body that has told me that I feel great. And now, all of a sudden, I don't, and I haven't been for three weeks. My body is telling me you don't feel great. So that's how I weigh that Like that person who gets up at six o'clock every morning is never late, that go work, a part-time job or a minimum wage job is more important to me than someone who just like is asking for more money because they have a degree or something. You know what I mean. It's like no, you really haven't proved yourself to anybody but yourself.
Speaker 2:And I think that person who shows that they'll go do something that they don't necessarily like every day because they that that's a regimen, that's the ritual, shows like that's a goal. Like some people need to strive to be like that. Hey, try not to be late, try to show up on time. I love I posted that thing the other day and carl napa he's my head of my department at western university and, um, the 10 things that you can do without putting any effort into it, and I think those should be like everybody's first goals that they try to accomplish.
Speaker 2:Where does that thing go? I'll look it up. While we're talking about 10 things, 10 things that require no effort, zero talent I love that it says zero talent and I think maybe working through that list, I even need to do it. Being on time, making an effort, being high energy, having a positive attitude, being passionate, using good body language, being coachable, doing a little extra, being prepared and having a strong work ethic I don't think those just apply to a job. That should apply. That's life, that's life and those things require zero effort. But I tell you what somebody accomplishing those things that feels good, that's a goal. But I don't think people see that Like when you ask hey, do you make goals for yourself? Maybe you just need to write down that list and check it every day.
Speaker 2:Kemp's got this little thing with magnets in her room. It's one of those whatever. And it's like did you make your bed. Did you brush your teeth Right? It sounds so simple, but when things get rough up here and you're having a hard time dealing with things, you need to make stupid little lists like that. Man. Hey man, did I call my mom today? Did I tell somebody that they thank you for what they did for me? Did I acknowledge other people besides myself? Other people besides myself, you know? And and over the last seven weeks I've had to do that a bunch where it's like, um, people would check on me and I'd have to remind myself to physically say thank you for checking on me. Right, interesting. So we got kind of weird, that's kind of weird yeah, that's so good.
Speaker 1:I mean we, you know this is uh, yeah, it's good. I mean, you know, this is not a normal MO, but this is a life update of Chris Bryan and Kyle Bryan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we haven't done it for a long time. So I'm really glad that we had a shout-out to the Rhody Clinic with Paul and Courtney. I thought there was a time there where I thought we made some people upset and, um, I feel good about that now because, uh, paul checked on me and I saw that he was kind of like liking some of my posts and whatnot. And I reached out to him and I'm getting help now and he was still there for me and I even asked him. I was like, dude, I thought you didn't like me anymore, like I didn't know what to say, and he was like, oh man, it's never like that. And I thank them for being there for me and thanks to Backline Cares and what's the thing called Sweet Jesus or whatever Sweet, whatever provides a grant and help for people that can't necessarily afford therapy, gets them on a sliding scale. That's awesome, the whole nine yards. Thanks for that.
Speaker 1:Well, my my thanks goes out to we've beat his name to dead, you know. But uh, philip chris, I mean he really has been, yeah, in all seriousness, I mean he's kind of been, um, my single, my single biggest point of inspiration so far this year. Um, just in, you know how he's choosing to live and run his life and and what he has done and and the positivity that he puts out there. And he'd be the first to admit that he's not necessarily the example they want to live by, but just like, hey, this is where, um, you know what he's gone through, what he's doing and where his head's at and I'm able to feed off of that. So, um, I, I really appreciate, I, I, um, you know, and we all need people like that from time to time to give us that nudge, give us that source of inspiration, you know, um plus, we're all trying for parts in the tv or movie that comes out yes, I, yes I.
Speaker 1:I have no update as to where his either Netflix or movie special is going with Rody Cartel. I know he's working on Rody Cartel Part 2 book, working on new characters and stuff, and it's funny. I haven't actually listened to the audiobook yet. I've obviously heard the sample that we had dropped. I've been so focused on digging into a bunch of other books that I'm like, so I do owe his, his audio book, a listen and I'll. I'll get there. I've at least read the book, so it's good. It's more than more than you, kyle. I'm just giving you a hard time.
Speaker 2:I know, if I could read, it'd be so much easier.
Speaker 1:Well, that easier. Well, that's why there's the audiobook. No, I'm just kidding, um I you know what it's interesting. I've uh the the path I so far I've chosen on the audiobook, which, again, I traditionally didn't used to like that either because I was like more of a podcast person. I like discussion. I had a hard time with someone just narrating to me the. The niche so far that I found the audiobooks is I'm listening to basically memoirs by the author narrating it. Not that every person that writes a memoir should be the person narrating it, but so far, again, listening to Dave Grohl telling his freaking stories who better could tell same with Will Smith and stuff like that's like it's a completely different experience. It would have never come across the same way if it wasn't the same inflections and um and stuff there.
Speaker 2:So I'm I'm enjoying that side of of of it yeah, man, hey dude, I missed you, man, I miss you too hopefully.
Speaker 1:Hey, we will get some, some guests rolling back here. I know this is probably about our third or fourth false start of being consistent and go. But look, you know, had both gone through some life things here recently and we both just said to each other like, look, you know, we don't owe anything to anyone and you know, life is more important, and so we took care of some things and we took whatever space we needed and we'll keep rolling.
Speaker 2:Hey man, send us some DMs, send us some messages, tell us what you're doing. Shout out to John Downey, brian Dodson, there's been a bunch of people reach out. It's been Garrison from out on the west coast, like that. Have like just shout out, said hello and uh, thank you guys for listening. Um, we're back again. No-transcript.